So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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