Need sex. Gaining weight.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
