Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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