you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
