I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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