Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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