Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You can't motorboat a personality
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
