i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
