apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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