Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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