my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
