A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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