Me too!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
