We're like a lot better than the average bears
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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