I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
