We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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