she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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