Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I need moral support for this bender
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
