All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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