Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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