can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
