I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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