We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
