Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
