He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
