life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
