Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
