Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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