Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
