I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
