I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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