yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Randomize