Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
