yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
