gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
