Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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