put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
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