I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
two words...techno handjob
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
