Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Drake has all the answers
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
