we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
