How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
