I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
