we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
