Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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