Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
