3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
