I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
