haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
