If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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