covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
