She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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