You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
