im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
