The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
