Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Randomize
