Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
