i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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