Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
