we have pet lesbian snakes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
