This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
