return my video game
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have aggressive nipples.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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