i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
