Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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