Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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