hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
