I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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