a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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