I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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