I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
